Blog Tagging is where someone writes a blog entry containing 5 things that people wouldn’t ordinarily know about them and then they name 5 other bloggers who haven’t been tagged yet and get them to do the same. Virus ? Bit of fun ? Major security risk as people expose critical information about themselves ? Who cares. Malcolm Groves tagged me so it’s my turn.

1. I am the inventor of Python: The Drinking Game. Like all drinking games it has fairly simple rules. One person says a line of Monty Python. Any line from any performance (television, movies, recorded performances). The next person has to say the next line in the sketch. If they can’t they have to take a drink. They can, however, challenge. In which case the person that said the first line has to say the next line. If the first person can then the second person takes two measures. If the first person can’t then they have to take a measure. The process continues to the end of the sketch or until someone can’t say the next line whereupon the person after them starts again with a new line of Python. There’s only one more rule: if it is your turn and not only can you say the next line but you can also say the whole of the rest of the sketch then everyone in the game takes a drink.

2. I have plotted my own murder. You know those "How To Host A Murder" games where you turn up at someone’s house and pretend to be Captain Scrub Nightly or some other ludricous name ? Well I did a load of these and learnt the formula and ran out the ones that at least made an iota of sense. So I wrote my own. But because I knew who did it and how and why it had to be me that died otherwise if I played a role I would have given the game away. So I had a group of friends come as themselves only I exaggerated their real lives to the same extent you see in the commercial games. You know the kind of things: strippers, illegitimate children, shady business deals, blackmail. And I gave them all a motive to murder me. Excellent fun.

3. My 21st birthday was a custard pie fight in Chislehurst Caves. More fun than you can shake a wet banana at. Chistlehurst Caves is 22 miles of ’haunted’ caves in Kent (but we only got a section of it). At 9:00pm everyone was let loose with plates and pie foam canisters and 50 people ran around the caves pie-ing each other. Probably the most fun I’ve ever had in a cave.

4. I once entered the World Pinball Championships. A long time ago I used to be quite good at pinball. I had a pinball machine in my house so I could practice whenever. I heard about the World Pinball Championships and thought I should try myself against some real serious types. I was confident. I shouldn’t have been. In the first heat I played probably the worst game of my life and I was out. I didn’t enter again the next year.

5. I collect fast food taste sensations. Not just common or garden junk. Real nasty stuff. Stuff that has a reputation. And the further afield the better. Holland has the Showarma kebab which is one of those foods that you never eat during daylight or when you’re sober. Coventry has the Faggot And Pea Batch (no, it’s true). Canada has the amazing Poutine which is even better for it coming from a land that has no other food in the same class (Poutine is chips, gravy and a sludge of chemicals that Canadians call cheese but is frankly insulting to cows everywhere). And Of course, Sydney has the Pie Floatter. So that’s two things that I have to ’thank’ Malcolm Groves for. Thanks, mate.

And like all people who have been blog tagged I get to pass the virus on to the next victims: Chris My